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[Raj Rangan]

Raj wasn't so lucky. Even if he wasn't quite aware of his romantic feelings for Pippa, nor was he willing to act on them, he was still very jealous of this Tide guy and what that meant for his friendship with her. He wasn't so lucky because Pippa didn't have feelings for him; he wasn't so lucky because she was already falling for the act and he laid no real claims to her. This fucking sucked and he was sitting right here in the next room while practically walked away with his best friend.

 

Perhaps it was one of the first things that clued him in to the fact that Pippa wasn't like any of his other friends. Anyone else and he might have felt a little worried, sure, but not outright panicked and even irritated by it. Not at her, no-- she had every right to act however she wanted and again, he had no claims to her-- but at the situation altogether. That some guy could just waltz right into the house, just like that, and detract attention from him. Not that he needed attention, either, as he'd never been that sort of person (in fact he normally wanted to be a background presence), but there was a difference in between being quiet and being ignored.

 

And while a lot of the implications Jackson had made previously went right over his head, "getting in her pants" was something he understood thoroughly. For some reason that threw him for another loop; he didn't like the idea of Pippa being intimate with anyone at all, and that in and of itself was such a foreign feeling that he didn't know how to handle it. In fact his brain shut down for a moment; he just stared at the beer in his hands, brow furrowed, as it usually didn't make a damn difference what people did when they were with another person. But Pippa? Somehow it mattered.

 

He almost reached the right conclusion-- that he was jealous because he liked her-- but it was easy to prevent that conclusion with the idea that he was just worried for her sake. That he didn't like the idea of his best friend being charmed into something, only to be hurt in the end. Then again, Raj never had a problem being honest with himself, so perhaps on a subconscious level he realized it. It explained the unfamiliarity of it all, at the very least.

 

"She seemed into him," was all he said, his voice unusually thoughtful and quiet. He'd always prided himself on being observant, and had this been anyone else, he would have assumed something would happen eventually. It was a telltale sign of attraction; even if a relationship didn't come from this, something else might. Both notions bothered him an insane amount, and it was all he could do not to just get up and leave the house. He knew it wouldn't do any good, though, and a part of him wanted to stay close by so he could know what the hell was going on.

 

Tidus, though. Automatically he responded to that, feeling his fear channel into something like anger. Tidus. "That's a name from Final Fantasy Ten," he told Jackson, craning his neck in an attempt to see them, but they were well out of sight. Normally he didn't judge for things like this; sure, it was a little odd to name yourself after a goddamn video game, but he had the feeling this was the sort of guy who would deny that claim altogether. "He doesn't even look like Tidus. I wonder why he would choose that for himself. It seems--"

 

Wow, there was the anger. Raj had never really felt this before, considering he'd always been neutral to people by default. The people that teased him in the past had always annoyed him, sure, but not to this extent. This was... very different, and worrisome in its own way, and he didn't like the feeling one bit. Suddenly he was popping the top off of his beer and taking a sip, doing his best to ignore the horrible taste of it.

 

"He seems like an idiot," he caught himself saying, and the words felt foreign on his tongue. "Is he an idiot?" His voice might have sounded hopeful; it was ridiculous how much he wanted to dislike this guy. "What's he going to do? Do you think he'll actually get into her pants? Have you seen him do this before? What did he do with Melli exactly?"

[Raj Rangan]

There was this small part of Raj that kept hoping Pippa would come around the corner and plop right down next to him or insist that they go back to work. It was stupid, really; he felt like some child wishing someone would pay attention to him, and as such he kept glancing towards the doorway as if she would magically be in it. But she was never there. Vaguely he could still hear her voice in the dining room, chatting away with this Final Fantasy Ten idiot, and it occurred to him that if this continued, he wouldn't be her favorite anymore.

 

Not that he was ever really her favorite-- she had Ruth, after all, and he was aware of it-- but there was still a strange comfort in knowing that he was one of her favorites. If she continued talking to this guy (yes, admittedly he'd noticed that he was one of the only actual guys in her life), she might find that same camaraderie in him and have no need for Raj anymore. He was aware that he was awkward, too blunt, too odd, and otherwise hard to deal with. This guy was probably 100% normal, and in the end that was exactly what broke his heart.

 

He should have expected it anyway. Over and over he'd reminded himself that this would inevitably happen someday, he just didn't expect it to happen so soon. Clearly he was getting ahead of himself; anyone else in this situation might have just seen it as flirtation, simple as that, but it was difficult for him to see it in anything but black and white. For him, it was the same thing. Even if she wasn't marrying the guy and having a bunch of babies with Final Fantasy names, she was still paying a hell of a lot of attention to him. She could still very well end up dating him, something Raj just didn't do, so in the end he lost her just the same.

 

There was something about Jackson's words that confused him, though, and he turned to him, brows furrowed as he shook his head. His girl? Did he mean girlfriend? "She's not my girlfriend," he said quickly, blinking as he looked back toward the doorway. Even if he was in the middle of a fucking crisis right now, it didn't occur to him that he might eventually want her to be. That that was exactly why he was so fucking jealous-- that it wasn't friendship, it was something else. "She's just my friend. I can't stop her just because--"

 

Just because he had attachment issues. Just because he was clingy. He didn't feel like going on about that, so he shook his head and focused his attention back on the television. Obviously his thoughts were nowhere near what the hell was on it, but it was something to look at at the very least. It occurred to him just how different he and Jackson were, just based on the way they both spoke; he wondered if he would've had an easier time going in there and "not letting it happen" if he was more like him. But again, Raj just saw the world in black and white sometimes-- Pippa wasn't his, so what right did he have to go and stop it?

 

And the guy seemed annoyed, too, that Tide was in there with Melanie, but he wasn't panicking like he was. He wasn't absolutely beside himself in upset. Perhaps all Raj needed to do was calm down; he recalled many situations as a child where he'd overreacted to a small schedule upset, and it occurred to him that this felt very, very similar to that. All he needed to do was breathe. So he did; he took in deep breaths and let them out slowly, letting his muscles relax, though he did all of this quietly. Years of practice made him feel a little less like a weirdo when he needed to take a moment.

 

"But why would he lie? About dyslexia?" That was something he just didn't understand in the least. That was similar to lying and claiming he had something similar to Raj, which-- why in the world would someone want that? It complicated things, and he didn't really understand the sympathy card. Perhaps it was because his own disorder made him rude and otherwise awkward, but he'd never really had the pity card played on him, so he wasn't quite so sure what that even meant. "Do you think Pippa likes people like that? Flawed people?" For some reason that hurt a little to say.

[Raj Rangan]

Raj understood this gesture. He understood that Jackson was trying to make him feel better. And had he been like anyone else he might have been comforted, but considering the literal way he took everything, it was difficult to find any solace in it. Still he listened to every word the guy said, a little glad that someone was there to talk to him regardless. Even if some of what he was saying was only enhancing his panic, it calmed him down to have a presence there to listen and understand him. He was walking away with something from this, at the very least.

 

And in any other situation he would have been excited and eager to make a new friend. Not outwardly, no-- Raj rarely showed that on the surface-- but normal conversations like this often made his day. It made him feel like people liked him. But considering the circumstances it was hard to feel glad about anything, which was also abnormal for Raj. Typically he was very easily pleased, and things didn't bring him down. He'd even grown used to schedule upsets, something that really bothered him as a kid, and he'd grown used to people leaving. He'd grown used to knowing that his clinginess was a problem. He'd grown used to a lot of things, but this wasn't something he was prepared for at all.

 

Why she was different from his other friends, he didn't know. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he never risked losing his previous friends to a romantic prospect before. Then again, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he wasn't necessarily losing her. Perhaps she could balance a friendship with a guy and a relationship at the same time; it was really stupid for him to just assume that she was done with him, but it was hard to see it any other way. Had he thought about it, he might have realized that he did project something like a relationship onto her, and he didn't like that to be threatened.

 

He did, at the very least, realize that the amount they hung out was akin to something like a relationship, and sharing that with someone else would change that dynamic entirely. But he figured that was exactly why he and Pippa worked so well as friends, too; she was just as willing to spend a lot of time with him, and she dealt with his clinginess without even realizing it existed. It was still all friendship in his mind, but with change in the picture it threw him off. He'd never dealt well with change, and this was no different.

 

He still listened to Jackson's words amid this flurry of thoughts, swallowing harshly. Took her away. That was exactly what he feared, but he supposed he could appreciate the guy's honesty at the very least, even if he was taking it too literally. "I don't blame her," he said as Jackson mentioned her ditching him, his voice flat and devoid of any self-pity despite his wording. And the truth was that he didn't blame her. This guy was attractive and interesting and normal. Raj was none of those three things, even if he was normally self-confident.

 

The more he thought about this Tide guy-- excuse me, Harvey-- the more he became annoyed with his entire existence in general. Raj wasn't used to disliking a person, so this was all incredibly new to him, but it was undoubtedly the emotion he felt at the time. That was something he couldn't deny for a second. "He still seems like an idiot to me," he said, returning his attention to the television as he took the remote from Jackson. Idly he flipped through the channels, glad to at least have something to do, even if his heart wasn't in it.

 

"What kind of person calls himself Tide, anyway?" He asked, even if the topic had already been discussed. Suddenly he looked down at his beer bottle, only to discover that it'd been drained. He wasn't even aware that he was drinking it-- perhaps it was out of nervous energy. "I wonder if he plays guitar. I bet he plays guitar. I bet he's exactly that stereotype of jerk you see in television. Have you ever seen Community? Like that Vaughn guy. I bet he considers himself an activist. You know he implied he was vegan before. What a--"

 

Whoa, this rage was new. It didn't feel right, either; he didn't like to be unhappy, so this was something he wanted to get rid of as soon as possible. Instead he fell silent, shaking his head as he finally settled on a TV show. LOST reruns would do. "I don't like him."

[Raj Rangan]

The more Raj felt this strange anger, the more he didn't now how to deal with it. This sort of behavior was typical in some men, wasn't it? He'd seen plenty of distasteful personalities around campus, and for the most part he dismissed it because it wasn't his business. Hell, Raj wasn't even completely certain that this guy wasn't being genuine. Maybe he was just some sad, dramatic guy with great hair; he'd always been great with observation, sure, but he could easily have the wool pulled over his eyes. Understanding actions and the way a story was unfolding he was an expert with, but he wasn't great at picking up on small distinctions in facial expressions that might have betrayed someone just acting. The guy he was sitting next to could've been a douchebag for all he knew, but his actions made Raj think otherwise. This jealousy, for instance, was a telltale sign that he liked Melanie a lot.

 

Which might have spoken volumes for the way Raj felt about Pippa if he'd connected the dots. But instead he was focusing entirely too much on the fact that he was having these stupid anger issues to begin with. They didn't settle well with him, either-- extreme emotion never did-- so he felt like fleeing before it got any worse. Retreating to his dorm room to watch episode after episode after episode of television, like a binge of sorts, until he forgot about it. 

 

Still, he was the type that trusted anyone who was nice to him wholeheartedly, so he believed Jackson when he said the guy was a phony in so many words. Besides, it was easier to project his jealousy onto him instead of Pippa, and it was easy to dismiss why he felt that jealousy in the first place when he had the disclaimer of the guy being a douchebag. He was just looking out for his best friend, right? That was all.

 

When Jackson left he felt exponentially lonely, and for a while he just sat there, blankly staring at the tv screen. LOST reruns usually got him into a good mood; they were perfectly dramatic enough to catch his attention so he could analyze every last second of it. But instead he was just too focused on the situation at hand, straining his ears to try to catch even a word of what they were saying. Before long Jackson was back, and he willingly took the beer from him and started in on it immediately, even if it wasn't his sort of thing.

 

But hey, the situation called for it; he was so nervous that he just wanted something to occupy himself with. Even if he'd never really had alcohol before in his life, it was fairly easy to accept this as a new experience and drain it. If he didn't watch out he'd be in for a surprise, but at the moment he didn't expect anything. "What did he do?" Raj asked, curious as he turned to the guy. He wanted to hear every little detail-- where Pippa was, what Tide was doing, whether or not he seemed genuine.

 

Around that time he heard the sound of a chair scraping against the wood, and as he craned his neck, he saw Tide making his way across the dining room and towards Pippa. Melli wasn't with him, either; clearly it would be just the two of them in the kitchen and he hated that idea. Would he be helping her? That was his job, wasn't it? That was why she'd invited him over. So why in the world would she do that? He wasn't irritated with her, per se, so much as completely baffled and feeling maybe the slightest bit betrayed.

 

But again, he didn't blame her. Sighing and leaning back into the couch, he decided to try his best to focus on the television screen. Eventually Melli joined them, plopping down next to Jackson and cuddling automatically into him. A day ago-- hell, an hour ago-- that would have been interesting for him to see, considering how he kinda shipped it in the weirdest of ways, but at the moment it made him feel lonely. Why, he wasn't so sure, as it wasn't as if he wanted something like romance in the first place, but all of these emotions were new to him anyway.

[Raj Rangan]

Raj felt guilty, but he was glad to know that momentarily that guy was away from Pippa. The idea that he was all up on Melli bothered him too, though not in the same way it bothered him with Pippa; it bothered him because he knew this guy didn't take her seriously. That if he could be so unabashedly ridiculous with both of them, then he wasn't interested in his best friend like he should've been. Then again, perhaps he was the sort of person who didn't understand personal space, as he'd met quite a few people like that in his lifetime. In fact, Pippa often didn't understand that Raj wanted his space at times, though slowly he was starting to get used to it.

 

But, of course, now Melanie was here and Harvey was there in the kitchen, doing his job. It was what he'd been invited here for and now some stranger was taking it over for him. Almost anyone else might have felt thankful to be freed of the activity, but Raj had actually been looking forward to today for a good bulk of the week. Now it was completely ruined and he was drinking a fucking beer and he had no idea how this had happened. Though he supposed he wasn't all that surprised in the end, anyway.

 

He tried not to be annoyed with everything, but suddenly it was channeling into his surroundings. It was as if his world had been invaded with a little upset, and now everything was thrown off course; this, too, was a familiar feeling, even if he hadn't felt it in a couple of years. When one thing went wrong it infected the rest of him. Everything was painted in a negative light, and as he looked around, he couldn't help but feel like things were grating at him. The disorganized way things were arranged around the television, the overwhelming quietness despite the vague sound of the television in the background, even the affectionate, comfortable way Jackson and Melli settled into one another. 

 

He wasn't sure why that last one bothered him. Being the third wheel hardly ever irritated him; he rarely realized he was until he wasn't being paid attention to, in which case it was fairly easy to remove himself from the situation. Sure, he'd get a little down over the fact that he was losing a friendship to a relationship, but it was always a passing thought, nothing like it was with Pippa at the moment. Jackson wasn't even making him feel like a third wheel, either, so much as he was just sitting with his girlfriend. That was natural. It'd be weird if they didn't relax into one another. So why was he feeling irritated with it? Not irritated with him, per se-- he didn't want the guy to quit doing it-- so much as he felt... jealous.

 

God, that was becoming a familiar emotion. It was all he could do not to get up and storm out, but something kept him right there in his seat. Perhaps the beer and a half contributed; he was feeling sort of tipsy and knew it was a bad idea to drive off. That was simply common knowledge. Another one of those strict rules that he wasn't about to break.

 

Perhaps he was brewing a little too much, perhaps the tv was at just the right volume to cover it up, or perhaps the front door had opened so quietly that he hadn't heard it, but he didn't even know Toby was there until he heard his voice. His voice was raised and he didn't seem all that happy, but it was beyond him as to why he was feeling that way. Raj's mind was so clouded with this strange jealousy (and worry about the fact that he was having it at all) that he didn't even link the fact that Melli was all up on Jackson with Toby's protectiveness. He just thought he was pissed off-- maybe he knew Tide.

 

"What the fuck is going on?" Was the only thing Toby said, and without missing a beat, Raj replied. "I was here helping Pippa cook, and Melanie agreed to tutor Harvey since he was failing Jackson's class, but Jackson tagged along because he doesn't trust the guy. Or he's jealous. I don't know which." He had no idea what he was doing; he had no idea that he'd just made the shitstorm worse. It was obvious by the way he nodded, satisfied with his explanation, that he hadn't intended on dropping a bomb. But Toby didn't seem relieved with his explanation, either, so his brain started to click into place as he looked over at Melli and Jackson.

[Toby Aldebaran]

Food. Motherfucking food. The moment he heard that Pippa was cooking at the bed and breakfast, he jumped in his car and headed that way. Having a break from practice for a day (the coach agreed that they all needed a rest for a change), he was actually sort of bored. The Kappa house was quiet, there was nothing good on TV, and he had this strange urge to be social that he couldn't quite satiate. Hell, even his few good friends were busy, including Chase-- which was how he found out that Pippa was there, of course.

 

So he drove there without thinking twice. Why would he? It was his family, after all; in his mind they had no business that wasn't his business. There was no need to announce his arrival, there was no need to do anything but walk in the fucking door and grab himself a plateful of whatever the fuck the girl was cooking. He was so damn hungry by this point that it didn't even matter what it was, and as such he ran up the steps and opened the door which was... strangely already cracked ever so slightly. As he glanced at it he realized that it hadn't been replaced quite yet, so it wasn't shutting all the way. Oh well, not his problem.

 

For that reason alone, his arrival was quiet. And he almost sped right past the living room without even looking into it, too, as he was so hungry that his stomach was practically guiding him to the kitchen. It wasn't until he heard the television that his interest was piqued, as he couldn't help but wonder who else was here. Perhaps his boredom was cured after all. So he stopped in the doorway to glance in, though what he saw there simply infuriated him.

 

His cousin-- the one he'd been so insistent on protecting at the campsite-- was cuddling right into this asshole professor in the middle of the day like they had no regard for anyone else. Like it was just common fucking knowledge that they were together. The moment she caught sight of him she jumped away, too, betraying the fact that yes, this was something. It was no accident or mistake on his part; her wide eyes and the way she looked at him was enough to tell him that. What the fuck were they doing? Did she have any fucking clue how stupid she was? And what the fuck sort of person charmed one of his goddamn students? Why the fuck did this weird guy that Pippa brought around all the time know and he didn't? What the actual fuck was going on?

 

So, of course, he voiced that thought. "What the fuck is going on here?" He asked, voice louder than he intended and not level whatsoever. It was clear that he was absolutely brewing with anger. And before he could continue with any more of it, this Raj guy was speaking up and basically told him, in so many words, that Jackson and Melli were a thing. If this guy actually had the nerve to get jealous of some other guy, he laid some sort of claims to her. And that was not. Fucking. Okay.

 

"So this is a thing, then," he said, laughing hollowly and shaking his head. "So you're stupid enough to give into this, are you?" He looked directly at Melli, disbelief and pure rage written all over his features. What the fuck kind of nerve did she have just cuddling with him in the fucking bed and breakfast like this? Where anyone could walk in? How many people knew, anyway? And what the fuck kind of nerve did he have? It was all he could do not to walk up and punch the guy in the face, as it was simply the language he spoke when he was angry, though somehow he kept his feet planted right there in the doorway. Perhaps he was hoping that he'd be talked down, that he somehow misunderstood all of this. Besides, punching a professor... well, that could get him in a lot of fucking trouble, couldn't it?

 

"How fucking long? At the campsite? What the fuck-- you're a fucking asshole, man. This girl--" He wasn't even sure where he was going with that. It was very, very clear that Melli was as innocent as they came-- shit, he wasn't even sure if that was the case anymore-- and here she was dating some old guy. "Couldn't you find some other student to fuck around with? Why her? I swear to god--" His fists tightened at his sides and he stepped forward, though somehow he managed to stop himself before he made a huge mistake. But who would really get in trouble here, anyway? The student who punched a teacher or the teacher who dated the student?