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I Know It's Over

ruth antares

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#1 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 09:26 AM

Holy fucking shit he was so god damn nervous that he was sure he was going to throw up. It was unfair, really, how much he seemed to get anxious when it came to Ruth, but no matter what whenever she was involved it was like his palms would start to get sweaty and his heart would beat wildly in his chest and he was just nothing but a ball of anxieties and worries that he didn't know how to get a handle on. It was absolutely unfair the sort of effect she had on him and it killed Brady to know that they'd just be friends.


But that was...okay. Sort of. He was having a hard time getting over it, sure, having a hard time dealing with the fact that while he really liked this girl and apparently she liked him, too, the only thing that they could have was a friendship. It kind of broke his pathetic little heart to be honest though that part had been long ago. His hurt feelings and upset over that had been at the campsite when she'd explained to him why kissing him was a mistake and why she didn't do relationships.


Slowly but surely he was trying to be better about the whole thing and in a way it sort of helped that they had some time apart after the whole kiss happened. Though, there was no denying the fact that Brady had missed the shit out of her. He missed the way she intimidated him, the way she was so unflinchingly honest and how she seemed to enjoy teasing him and making him blush. He missed how fucking nice she was or how pretty her blonde hair was and just talking to her in general when he was kind of lonely.


Seeing her at the party had been well...he didn't know what to expect. Shit. He wanted to be okay with just being friends but while he was getting better about it, he still found her too pretty, liked her too much to just get over it. Being so god damn close to her in that arena had nearly killed him as that time he wanted to be the bold one and fucking kiss her. She was running away before he even had the chance of course. And things hadn't gone too well at the remainder of the party either so he stayed away from her for the most part, though Brady recalled their agreement to hang out prior and he'd texted her again, inviting her over on a night he knew Max would be out with his girlfriend. 


He could do this. He could. He could totally be cool as hell and teach her how to play video games and eat pizza and drink Mountain Dew and just be friends. This was a totally friendly thing that they were going to be doing and there was no reason to be so god damn nervous about it. At the very least Brady could be happy he'd have her in some way, shape or form in his life, right? That's definitely what he told himself as he swallowed the lump in his throat when she knocked on the door before opening, mustering up a smile as he opened it.


"Hey, uh--sup. Come in." He stepped aside and motioned for her to come in before realizing that their fucking room was a disaster. Clearing his throat he shut the door and moved some shit off his bed before smiling tightly. "Sorry there's uh, nowhere else to sit."

#2 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 07 October 2013 - 03:59 AM

Why Brady? Not that there was anything wrong with him, not at all-- he was the sweetest and cutest guy on campus by Ruth's opinion, no question, and she'd defend him until her face turned blue if it came down to it. He deserved the nicest girl ever, someone who would follow him around and act like a puppy in his presence. Not Ruth. But why was Brady-- this, again, sweet and cute guy-- the one guy that had such a paralyzing effect on her? Even just thinking about him caused her to freeze up; she couldn't help but think of his dejected face at the campsite one second and his adorable grin the next. 


She'd always been... brave in her own way. Perhaps not in the beginning; after her mother's death it was easy to retreat into her silence and deal with her grief there. It was easy to depend on Pippa or Simon to communicate for her, it was easy to let other people take care of her. It was almost a full year later before she spoke again, and that took a great deal of courage. From there on out, though, she was painfully honest and straightforward. She had no trouble communicating if only because she's gotten past those barriers early in her life, and... well, she wasn't really intimidated by anyone.


Anyone but Brady, of course. His sweet demeanor and the fact that she'd disappointed him made things so much harder on her. It took a while to summon up the courage just to agree to this hangout, much less finally make herself walk out of her dorm towards his. This was just Max's silly friend, right? That was all; there was no need in getting so worked up over it. It was absolutely stupid for her to let him have that sort of effect on her. As such she'd just about psyched herself up for this whole thing when he swung open the door and for a second she just stood there, all confidence she had smashing to the ground.


She didn't even bother with a greeting in return at first; she just stepped past him and into his room, looking around a hell of a lot more than she intended. It was easy to tell which side of the room was Max's and which was his, and automatically her eyes were drawn to his things. Nothing terribly significant, really, but it was odd to think that this was where he lived. This was where he slept. Why she was thinking that way was absolutely stupid, though, so she returned her attention to him and mustered up a smile of her own, even if she was feeling worse and worse by the second.


"Hey," she said way too belatedly, taking a seat on his bed and feeling more and more awkward. Now that the door was shut behind them it was too quiet, too private; this enclosed space was almost worse than the laser tag arena in that sense. At least it was well lit, though, as she couldn't imagine having to sit on his bed with him in the dark without that taking a turn in the wrong direction. Jesus, how did this even happen?


"So uh-- Max is gone, hm? Video games." God, Ruth was never awkward. Where the hell was this version of herself coming from? "What do you have in mind?"

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#3 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 06:38 AM

It was painfully fucking obvious that she made him nervous, too. Unlike Ruth, Brady was awkward as hell. He'd always posessed a weird outward courage, sure, and it was always easy for him to talk to people and look like he knew what the hell he was doing, at least, not look like a total fucking dork in front of those he was trying to impress but it was usually the same internally, he was panicking and kicking himself mentally and making sure he was keeping his cool in front of the person he was talking to so as not to ruin the conversation by bringing up anything stupid.


WIth Ruth it was different. The moment she'd kissed him that side of him had gone out the window completely. He'd been able to talk to her before with ease, sit down next to her and vent about his problems and pout like a child about how he was being ditched by his best friend. Hell, he'd managed to have decent conversations with her and they'd actually spent a fair amount of time together while Max was busy with Bridget. It was so different back then. Easy, sometimes he didn't even have to second guess himself like he did with other people.


Even realizing that he was liking the girl didn't make things all too complicated. Not at first anyway. Brady could easily shrug off liking someone as he'd had his share of awkward crushes in the past. Even if Ruth was someone he talked to on the regular it still wasn't all that bad. And then--well then she kissed him and his heart fucking exploded because he knew what it was like to kiss Ruth Antares and it was by far one of the best experiences of his life.


Followed of course by one of the worst. The dejection he felt when she ran away damn near crushed him to be honest and it wasn't anything he wanted to experience again. It was why of course he'd psyched himself up for this whole, we should just be friends thing. Because he liked her. He did. She was pretty and funny and honest and it was absolutely impossible for him not to be completely crazy about her. The thing was, that he wanted her around a lot more than he wanted to pout about the fact that a relationship between them wasn't going to happen.


And he was Max's best friend. They were bros okay. Now that he realized he wasn't being replaced he knew he was going to be around family gatherings a hell of a lot more than he usually was, so yeah, they needed to get past this shit. Still--it was awkward and strange and he was nervous as hell. He sat down on the bed, scooting over so he wasn't too close to her and crossed his legs before handing her a controller. "Yeah, he uh--he went out with Bridget I think." He scratched the back of his head and smiled though it was a bit forced. "I figured I'd show you how to play some Left 4 Dead, s'not too hard once you get used to it. You like zombies right?" Already he was starting up the game, too, the loud introduction making him reel back just a bit. "And then uh--if you're hungry we can order a pizza. I mean if you want that is, we don't have to."

#4 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 07 October 2013 - 07:23 AM

Ruth, too, regretted that kiss more than anything. Had she not gone into that territory this might have been a lot easier, but perhaps it was good in a way; it wasn't until then that she realized how much she wanted to be near Brady, even if just in a friendly context. Before that moment she'd thought he was cute, sure, and that she liked hanging around him, but it was something she assumed wouldn't continue past this camping bit. And yeah, she might have been aware that she was attracted to him and that there was this tiny part of her that always wanted to scoot closer, but she blamed that on the way she wanted to comfort him while he was so whiny about Max.


But that kissed change everything. Every single fucking thing. First of all, it gave her clarity on the fact that yes, she wanted Brady in her life in some form or another, and he'd made an impression on her past "hey, he's sort of cute." And second of all it changed their entire dynamic; it was a horrible time to realize how important he was to her. Had she realized that first, she might have known that kissing him was an absolutely terrible idea, as it risked their friendship. Unfortunately things didn't quite work out that way.


She also couldn't help but notice the way he positioned himself slightly away from her. At the campsite they'd sat somewhat close; not relationship-y close, but their knees touched and it'd be easy to scoot just a fraction over and initiate something like cuddling. Here, though, they were distant; it was clear that this was supposed to be as platonic as it could be. Swallowing, she realized that she'd wanted this. This was her doing, not his.


And then she wondered if he was even upset about it anymore. That was what she wanted, wasn't it? Him to move on and find some other girl to go on a date with, someone nice who would treat him right. Yet the thought that he might be over that kiss already threw her for a loop, and she knew it was a selfish thought. Who was she to hold him back? She was no better than that girl he'd messed around with in the past, and she knew it; hell, even thinking of that girl made her feel sort of possessive and jealous. It was stupid the claims she wanted to lay to Brady.


Regardless, it was hard not to wonder why he positioned himself so far away. Perhaps, yes, it had to do with the fact that he was keeping things strictly platonic for their mutual sake, but perhaps it had to do with something like... pitying her. Maybe he picked up on the fact that, months later, her feelings were still very much intact, and it made her feel sick to her stomach to even think of that possibility. Their friendship meant something to him at the very least, didn't it? This wasn't just something odd she'd initiated on her own, was it?


Swallowing, she nodded and took the video game controller from him, trying to press these thoughts out of her mind. It didn't make sense. Ruth had never been a self-conscious sort of person, yet here she was fawning over this guy like a high schooler. All she wanted was for him to like her and for things to go smoothly but she knew they never would. That was a distant hope, and it was naive of her to even wish for it. "Left 4 Dead, right," she answered him with a small nod, feigning a smile. "I uh-- I hope you know I'm terrible at video games. Last time I played was back in the gamecube era with Simon." Her smile went genuine for a second as she let a wave of nostalgia crash over her. "That was like... Super Mario Sunshine and Luigi's Mansion though, nothing like this. But pizza sounds great."

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#5 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 12:17 PM

The thought of not being friends with Ruth after the whole camping trip wasn't one that Brady wanted to consider at all. Shit, it wasn't anything that had even crossed his mind as he was Max's best friend and she was his cousin and they did these family gatherings all of the damn time. It was only inevitable that they would cross paths when he was with the guy all the time and she was there, too, and well if his friend was busy and her friend was busy why couldn't they spend time together doing whatever it was that specific time.


Had he been more the sort to spend time with his family instead of Max's it would have been different. But while his three siblings attended the school and he spoke to them on a semi regular basis he was more than likely to be with his best friend the majority of the time. Shit, he'd even spent holidays with him before and he didn't find it too big of a deal. That was, honestly like his second family in some senses so it was only logical for Brady to assume that just because camping was over didn't mean his friendship with her was.


That all changed the moment she ran away from him though. It wasn't as if it was something he thought about constantly, no. He didn't really think about whether or not he and Ruth would hang out all the time but after she kissed him and looked absolutely horrified and guilty for doing it, Brady's line of thinking definitely went that way. They weren't going to be friends anymore that was for sure. Even after their awkward talk after that stupid ass party he thought so. She'd explained everything sure and he understood he did but he was still pretty sure that things were too weird for them now.


After a few weeks though it was just something that he couldn't fucking stand. Shit, he really liked this girl and it was unfair that just because he had some stupid crush, just because he was burned by another girl before that he needed to push her away for a silly little kiss. Granted that kiss was actually the farthest thing from silly ever but still. And there was the fact that he missed her. It was such a random thought honestly, but he missed her. She'd been his friend when he was down in the dumps about Max and Bridget so it was only natural, right?


Brady could only hope that whatever friendship they built over those few weeks could be repaired. That they could get past whatever this awkwardness was and be friends again. Even if all they did was play video games and eat pizza. Shit. He really liked her. But the thought of being just friends with her was a hell of a lot better than not having her around before. "S'fine I mean it's just you and I so it's not like we're playing against people online and if you die we can start over, no big. I'm gonna show you everything you need to know anyway." He shrugged smiling as he flipped through the menu screen. "Super Mario Sunshine was the shit. I played the hell out of that one when I was younger. I never played Luigi's Mansion though." 


He looked over at her and his heart skipped in his chest at her smile. Brady had never been terribly observant so it was hard for him to tell that she wasn't smiling genuinely the entire time. That look on her face though, he liked it all too much. "I'll uh--I'll order the pizza before we start the first campaign. Pepperoni okay, right?"

#6 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 08 October 2013 - 02:05 AM

Ruth was starting to wonder if this was even worth it. She wasn't even sure if their friendship could be repaired at this point; she'd made a majorly stupid move and now the only thing she was thinking about was kissing him again. How had this even happened? One moment she thought he was cute and the next she was kissing him and memorizing the way his lips meshed with hers and-- fuck, it didn't even make sense. It was like flipping a switch and she still wasn't so sure how it happened at all.


Perhaps a lot of it had to do with guilt. The fact that she'd led Brady on like that after being so angry with a girl who'd done that to him in the past was ridiculously bitchy of her and she knew it. While her reasons where different, certainly, it didn't change the fact that she'd rejected him. That his broken-hearted face at the campsite had cemented itself in her mind and she couldn't get it out. A part of her was tempted to explain that if she had to choose one guy in the whole world to date at this point, he wouldn't undoubtedly be that guy. No questions asked.


He wasn't on her mind all the time, though. Frequently, yes; she found herself staring at his name in her phone before locking it and setting it down. She found herself thinking about him every damn time Max's name was mentioned and every time anyone recalled that time at the campsite. But it wasn't as if his face haunted her when she was trying to go to sleep every night. Still, that itch to see him was persistent, as she considered him one of her only friends. Former friends, anyway.


Still, it was hard to see how this would end up. Things were stilted, awkward between them; it was forced and strange and not as natural as they'd been at the campsite. Her smiles were hardly genuine and she could tell he was having to try, too. Video games, pizza-- it all seemed so simple and easy but it wasn't. It wasn't when she couldn't look him in the eye without thinking about crying or kissing him again. Ridiculous, really.


"Okay," she agreed, swallowing as she looked over the controller and tried to acquaint herself with it. She wasn't nervous about doing well; this was all sort of silly in her mind anyway, and she was glad for the distraction at all. Truthfully if she shot at nothing and ended up having a miserable time, it was better than having to sit here and attempt conversation. "Luigi's Mansion was cute. If you ever get a chance you should go back and play it. Especially now that it's-- y'know, getting closer to Halloween." She thought of Simon and how he'd gotten way too into the game. His frustration at not beating a boss. All three of them curled up on the couch, leaning against one another; it was the one game that came along with the gamecube and Simon had gotten it for Christmas that year. It was... a really sweet memory.


"Pepperoni's fine," she answered with a nod, readjusting her position on the bed so she was sitting indian style. Again she tried to acquaint herself with the controller, though she ended up pressing the wrong button and flat out starting the game. "Oh god, shit-- what do I do, what do I do? What did I press?"

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#7 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 02:20 AM

If anything, Brady wasn't mad at her. He couldn't be, really, as she'd done nothing wrong. Even kissing him the way she had and telling him the next day that nothing could come of it wasn't wrong in his eyes. At least, well at least she hadn't ditched him for someone better looking who wore stupid ties and wasn't a nerd without another word. Ruth had at least explained what was on her mind, she'd let him down as gently as she could. Still a let down, yes, as he was incredibly disappointed at hearing those words come out of her mouth but gently nonetheless.


This situation was a hell of a lot different than the one from the previous year. There he'd felt led on. He thought the girl liked him and was interested in that sort of thing with him. And then...then she wasn't. Then she was finding someone else and he was off on his own kicking fucking rocks and shit. It sucked, to be honest, it hurt his feelings and for a long ass time he was completely fucking bitter over the whole thing. That he'd been mad at. He didn't even want to think about her name or see her face because he'd felt ditched by her.


But not this. Ruth's rejection, it was rejection no doubt about it, for some reason hit him a lot easier than the other girl's. Maybe it was because he'd managed to become her friend before any of that happened. Because she was ridiculously important to him and he couldn't find himself bitter and spiteful towards someone that he wanted to get to know better. Whatever the reason may have been, there wasn't much resentment in his mind regarding it. The one and only thing that Brady wanted out of this, if anything, was his friend back.


It was difficult, sure. Strained and awkward and he found himself over thinking every little thing when it came to addressing her. He was nervous and there was dread at the pit of his stomach and his heart was fucking beating wildly in his chest and all the kid wanted was to reach out and hold her hand just be over all of this. But that wasn't going to happen. He needed to be friendly. To keep this on a platonic level and not make things any worse than they were before.


Sure, things might have been strained now but they would get better as they both went along, right? Eventually they'd be getting over this thing--whatever this awkwardness was--and go back to being friends. There was no other option for him as even though things were strange and stilted and he was nervous, just having her around made him all too happy. He couldn't stop staring as her out of the corner of his eye, already he was going through the mobile website to order the pizza and watching her as subtly as she could. Shit, she was so fucking pretty."Yeah, yeah, I've got a Gamecube somewhere but it's back at home. Maybe one day though I bet it wouldn't be hard to find a copy."


He'd just put the order in and tossed his phone aside when she started the game and he couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. "Shit, okay, okay, don't worry we're good up here for now. Uh--" he moved his hand over so she could see what he was doing and showed her the controls. "You shoot with the right trigger and melee with the left, like if you want to hit 'em with the butt of your gun. But if you pick up like a ninja sword or something then you still use the right trigger." He demonstrated regardless of whether there were no zombies around. "And A is jump and you pick stuff up with X. Make sure you always have a health pack and you should be fine. I bet you'll pick up on it really fast." He moved the controller around and grabbed everything necessary before glancing over at Ruth a small smile on her face. "You ready to do this?"

#8 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 08 October 2013 - 04:44 AM

It wasn't getting any better with time, truthfully. She'd expected it to; back at the campsite she assumed all they needed was a little time apart, and then perhaps they could get back to normal. It was an easy out, at least, as she didn't want to believe their friendship was absolutely eliminated just because she'd been so stupid. But as time progressed and she didn't stop thinking about it-- as time progressed and they were still just as awkward-- she was starting to doubt that it would go away so quickly. Maybe eventually, sure, but it would take a lot of time. A lot of time that she didn't want to wait.


There was something so painfully casual about this, though. Painful because, from the outside, it might have seemed like they were good, platonic friends. If Max walked in right this second it would all be very innocent, save for the fact that Ruth was here in the first place. They were just playing video games and ordering pizza and sitting a safe distance apart-- hell, even their conversation was casual. Awkward, but it was still... platonic. Now that she thought of it, she could hardly even sense any tension like there'd been that night at the fireworks.


It was sad, but necessary. She knew that. It was silly of her to expect otherwise, and this was what she wanted in a way-- for this all to fade away and leave her free to be friends with Brady just as she'd been before. It seemed easy; as he leaned over to demonstrate the controls, she nodded, laughing a little to herself and shaking her head. A? X? She didn't even know what buttons those were without looking down at the controller, much less what the hell a health pack meant. Ninja sword? Wasn't this supposed to be a zombie game?


Her amused expression was clear on her features, though at least it wasn't some half-smile that wasn't genuine in nature. As the game started she started toying with the controls, though she might have given a half squeal as she accidentally bumped the right joystick. Immediately her view went to the sky and she looked back down at the controller, eyes wide. "Shit, shit. What did I do this time?" She attempted to move the joystick around again, but for the most part she wasn't getting the hang of it. It was either the ground or the sky, nowhere in between, and at the same time her left thumb was toying with the other joystick. As such, her character was running in an aimless direction, looking from the sky to the ground repeatedly and straight into the horde.


"Oh my god, what's that sound--" She said, eyes wide as she heard the zombies converging on her. Rarely was she actually scared of anything-- she wasn't terribly girly, after all-- but there was something about this that set off her nerves. "Did you say trigger? Is that this thing?" She asked, pointing to the trigger but not looking up, as she was already trying to shoot the zombies though she was mostly just... shooting at their feet. Fortunately she hadn't seen their faces quite yet.


"Holy shit, this is going to take a lot of getting used to," she said, but for the first time in a while around Brady, she allowed herself to actually grin. There was something about this that was... kind of endearing. And easy. Maybe this wouldn't be as difficult as she'd originally imagined-- maybe she was just overthinking it.

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#9 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 05:48 AM

Had Brady known Ruth's internal struggle he might have thought twice about the whole inviting her over thing. It would have hurt him, yes, as all he wanted was for things to go back to normal in the first place. All he wanted was to have her around in some way, shape or form even if it was nothing but friends, but he would have understood nonetheless. Much like he understood that she wasn't the sort of person that did the relationships thing. He hadn't questioned her when she'd told him that, it took him a bit of course to grasp it, but eventually he had


And of course he respected it. Much like he would have respected her decision to keep her distance from him if she would have made it. It was awkward, yes. They shared similar thoughts on that but he was far more optimistic about the whole thing than anything else. Eventually things would be okay. They had to be. He wasn't about to throw something away with her because of a kiss, even if she did think it was a mistake. Even if the kiss was imprinted in his mind for fucking good now and he couldn't--wouldn't--stop thinking about it.


It was probably a good thing that he was blind to her inner turmoil though as he would have incited a panic on his own. He would have become far too cynical and self deprecating about himself in the first place and that after what happened with the other girl didn't seem to be the best path for Brady. Even then, things didn't seem so bad while they were sitting there on his bed. It was just baby steps. They'd get through it. Shit like this, things he did with fucking Max on the regular, these were the sorts of things he could do with Ruth.


Friendly, friend type things. Platonic, silly things that friends did. And friends certainly didn't find each other cute and watch each other out of the corners of their eyes as they acted fucking cute as hell trying to play a video game. So he needed to cut that shit out. But well, he couldn't help it. Laughing at her panicked expression and the way she was pretty much slaughtering herself he reached over, his hand grazing the top of hers momentarily before he tapped his finger on the joystick. "This is for your camera view, see you walk with this one right but then this one if you want to see other directions you use this one, so you just sort of--" he tapped it lightly and her camera view was back in place and she was faced with a shit ton of zombies.


"Start shooting!" He said, instantly reacting and helping her get rid of the horde. He couldn't help look over at her and grin like a fucking schoolboy with a fucking crush though, she was too fucking cute like this and it made his heart flip over like mad. "It's just your first try, I promise you'll get used to it. Just wait til a tank comes." 

#10 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 08 October 2013 - 06:42 AM

It was entirely too easy to forget about everything she'd gone through with Brady when she was in the middle of this fucking game. Perhaps it was too immersive for her, as the only thing she could think about at the moment was getting out of this situation alive. There were zombies converging on her, okay, and she could hear them hitting her but she couldn't really see them. She made all kinds of weird sounds, ranging from squeals to little grunts as she tried to figure out what the fuck she was supposed to do with this controller in her hands. How in the world did Max and Brady play things like this all the time? Without getting dizzy, no less? As, yes, she was spinning in circles trying to figure out what the fuck to do and it was making her head spin, too.


This was easy, though. Natural. And she couldn't imagine doing something like this with anyone but Brady. With Max it'd be boring; hell, even with her older brother it wouldn't carry the same form of nostalgia as it used to. But with Brady it was fun and silly and something to do as friends, and she found herself loving this far too much. She was scared out of her mind, sure, as there was something about the music and sound and game itself that was terrifying, but that was part of why it was enjoyable. Scary movies didn't do it for her, but something about this did.


In any other situation she might have reacted badly to Brady's hand over hers-- and she noticed, she certainly did-- but at the moment it was too easy to worry about the game. In the back of her mind she processed how nice it was, and in efforts to see what he was doing a little better, she scooted closer until their knees were touching again. It was as if they'd gained back so much of what they'd lost in those few minutes for her, though there was still something underneath the surface that was clawing its way up. Her feelings for him weren't going to go away, even if they could move past that kiss.


She started shooting at his command, though she was too afraid to move the joystick for the view. But the zombies were coming straight at her and she squealed as she shot at them with her little pistol, though there might have been a strangled sound of victory as she watched a few go down. She did it! "Wait, what's a tank?" She asked all too seriously. "Like a military tank? Those would help us though, right? So like when does one appear?" But then the music was getting creepy and ominous and her eyes widened. "Why does it sound like someone's crying? What the fuck is this game, oh my god--"


If she was being honest, this was entirely too much fun. Again, this wasn't something she'd have done with anyone else, but suddenly she felt a laugh bubbling up in her throat and it escaped before she realized it, and upon that she couldn't really stop. Giggling like an idiot, she continued blindly ahead, unaware of the witch in the shadows. "This is kind of fun," she told him, grinning like an idiot.

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#11 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 07:15 AM

God she was so fucking cute that he couldn't even handle it. It was unfair, really, and it was a miracle that he hadn't just stopped playing in favor of sitting there and grinning at her like an over eager puppy. He was an idiot, obviously and he was so god damn transparent about his crush on her that it was ridiculous. At the very least it was easy to forget about any worries and anxieties that their awkward conversations anything that had gone down in the past had brought them. At that moment it was just him and her killing zombies.


Or well, he was killing zombies. She was doing pretty fucking lousy which was painfully fucking cute in and of itself. She was clearly getting into it, too, judging by the noises she was making and again he thought about just watching her trying to get through it all. It was a little mean maybe just how amused he was by her attempts but honestly, could you fucking blame him? He was helping her of course. Showing her how to move her joystick properly, shooting zombies off of her. There wasn't much that he could do besides that and he stared down at the screen and frowned as he watched her health deteriorate. 


Even though he was concentrating on helping her out in the game Brady definitely noticed the way her knee touched his and his heart skipped a fucking beat yet again as he tried not to think about it. No big deal, right? Friends sat close to each other all the time. Just friends. Just friends. Shit this was difficult. But the game proved to be an easy distraction and so did she as he couldn't help but find her reactions completely fucking endearing every single time.


Through the entirety of it all there was a huge goofy grin on his face that only grew wider every time she spoke. He laughed, too at her questions and shook his head. "Nah, nah, not a military tank. A tank is--" he blew a puff of air out of his cheeks and shrugged unsure how to explain it. "You gotta see for yourself okay, trust me, you'll know when he's gonna come and just shoot him before he gets you." He shook his head again and fucking laughed. Shit her reactions were adorable. Right around that time though she pointed out the crying and Brady might have gone a little wide eyed.


Because maybe--just maybe--he found the witch scary as fuck. "Ah shit," he was shaking his head clearly an expression of abort fucking mission on his face. "You gotta turn off your flashlight, it's a witch she will fuck you up if you startle her." He swallowed thickly and tried to look around for the red outline. But he'd forgotten to turn his own light off and it landed right in her face. "Ahhhhhh shiiiiiiiit,"Brady might have been squealing like a girl a bit. all he could do was fucking run around like an idiot trying to outrun her but she caught up and knocked him down fast enough. He was fucking screwed. "Shoot her! Shit, she's gonna fucking kill me, holy shit."  He was laughing though, shaking his head and fucking laughing as yeah, this was a shit ton of fun.

#12 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 08 October 2013 - 08:05 AM

Maybe it wasn't just the video game that was causing her to get so ridiculously giddy. Maybe it was the fact that, to some extent, she was regaining her friendship with Brady and it was surprisingly easier than she'd imagined. As yes, that was constantly on her mind when she wasn't stressing out about killing zombies, at least; it was all too easy for her to focus on the way their knees touched when she was just trying to move forward and adjust the way the camera faced. 


It would be so easy, wouldn't it? To just move over and let things run their course. Had it been a couple of months ago, she might have done so in a purely friendly context. Friends did that sort of thing all the time, she figured-- she'd seen Pippa half-cuddle into Raj on more than one occasion, and she knew it was really simple. But now that she'd crossed the line and kissed him, it'd be painfully easy to misread her intentions, so she kept herself strictly where she was, no matter how difficult it was. Besides, even she knew it wasn't platonic on her part. If she cuddled into him it was just to feel his warmth and breathe in his scent and just be near him.


But again, it was hard to feel sad about it when her blood was pumping and her heart racing. "So he? Like a tank is a he? A thing? What do you mean before he gets me?" Her eyes were wide, but she didn't dare turn to Brady for a second, as her eyes were trained far too intently on the screen in front of her. At least she was getting the hang of the camera controls-- now just to figure out how in the world to walk without going in the wrong direction. It called for way too much coordination.


Suddenly the crying was getting louder, though, and there was creepy ass music accompanying it, and the game didn't feel so fun anymore so much as freaky as fuck. "How do I turn off my flashlight?" She asked frantically, pressing every button she could think of, yet all she managed to do was pull out a health kit instead. But then suddenly the witch was racing toward Brady and she screeched, able to see the creepy bitch from Brady's side of the screen. "Ohmygodohmygod, I'm coming I'm coming," she tried to reassure him, turning her camera so she could see the witch at the very least. All she was successful at doing, though, was tossing a full on molotov at her and setting her on fire.


"Oh my god! You're on fire, I'm so sorry--" She said, somehow bringing out her gun again and firing over and over until the witch was down. With that she jumped, excited, facing Brady and giving him the biggest hug ever without thinking. "I did it, I did it!" But by the time she turned back to the tv she'd been incapacitated by yet another horde of zombies, as her health was already low anyway. And unfortunately there were no teammates to rescue them, so they were mostly shit out of luck.


"Oh no," she said, though she wasn't frowning at all. She was laughing, still holding onto Brady and feeling stupid as hell but enjoying every bit of it. "That was fun." It wasn't until then that she realized how close she was to him, but for some reason she was paralyzed-- and still giddy, too, so it was hard to realize how bad of an idea this was.

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#13 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 01:14 PM

Brady was most definitely not over analyzing the way she'd scooted closer to him. The way their knees touched and how if he moved over just a little bit he'd be so fucking close to her that he could probably just--no. He wasn't doing it. He wasn't fucking thinking about it at all. He was concentrating on the game thank you very much and he wasn't allowing himself to get distracted with thoughts of Ruth and how pretty she was and how she made his heart beat wildly in his chest. How she made him palms go sweaty and his mind a jumble of incoherent fucking thoughts. Nope. He wasn't thinking about it at all.


Except of course he was. It was hard not to. Even with the game in front of them once he was so fucking close to her, once their knees were touching he couldn't help himself. Could you blame him? It wasn't just their closeness, too, it was the fact that this whole thing made her realize how fucking cute she was. He'd recognized that she was pretty before, sure, he'd have to be blind not to see that as she had adorable features and pretty blonde hair and nice lips and soft skin and--


But this? The way she squealed and struggled and asked all these questions. The way she so openly and willingly allowed herself to dork out with him and fucking play zombies, was so fucking precious that he couldn't even handle it. All he wanted to do was smile at her, a goofy grin before tucking his hand in hers and just christ it was so fucking unfair it was ridiculous. Friends. Friends. They were going to have this conversation without fail. Just friends. At the very least he could hope that this sort of thing could happen again. Friends did this all the time after all.


"Ah, well I mean I guess s'kinda presumptuous to assume it's a he but I mean--he's not wearin' a shirt y'know and he's I dunno kinda ugly and looks kinda like the..." he shook his head and stopped himself as he kind of wanted to see her reaction to the tank without spoiling the surprise. Judging by the reaction to the witch and the way she panicked completely, the way she set him on fucking fire it would be well worth it to be honest.


Brady was hardly upset about the fact that he was about to die especially when suddenly she reached over and fucking hugged him and well how could he be mad at that. For a moment he just sat there before he wrapped his arm around her returned the hug, smiling all too fucking widely. Shit. Just friends, right? Friends hugged each other. He was hardly upset about the turn of events either because she was still touching him and shit it was too fucking much. "S'okay, I mean we'll just uh start over if you want. You did pretty good with the witch. I'm proud of you."


He closed his eyes for a second and reveled in the way her arm felt around him. He could easily reach over and wrap his around her waist and just bring her close right? It wouldn't be a big deal. And he was about to fucking do it, too, when his cell phone buzzed and he frowned. He picked it up and ended the call quickly, looking over at her and swallowing the lump in his throat. "Pizza's here. I'll uh-- I'll be right back I'm just gonna go downstairs and get it. You stay here, yeah?" He untangled from herself quickly and practically stumbled his way out of the dorm room. That time he spent going to pick up the food was way too much. He didn't like having all this time to think about what was going on.


Which was probably why he practically sped walked all the way downstairs, thrust the money in the guys hand and made it back up in record time. He was relieved to see that she was still there when he came back and he set the pizza down on his desk, shoving over a pile of drawings before he pulled paper plates and two mountain dews out from his desk drawer. "I uh--we don't got a mini fridge. Should probably get one but uh--here hope this is okay." He plated the pizza and sat down on the bed next to her again smiling before he handed it to her.

#14 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 09 October 2013 - 04:31 AM

It hadn't even occurred to Ruth that she was hugging him until she settled into it, his warmth processing and the way his arms felt around her and-- fuck, she was enjoying this far too much. She, too, was reminding herself consistently that they were friends. Just friends. She could do this; they'd done just fine at the campsite, hadn't they? And for the first time she wondered if the kiss had anything to do with it. Sure, it expedited this whole thing. The kiss made her feelings more apparent and it increased that awkward tension between the two of them. But was it inevitable? Undoubtedly they would've hung out after getting back to campus, even if Ruth wasn't aware of how much he meant to her quite yet. And eventually she might've noticed. Eventually she might've leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips just like she'd done. 


Or perhaps he would've done so instead. She wondered which alternative was worse; either she rejected him outright when he made a move or she made the move and changed her mind. Both sounded pretty painful, really, and it hurt her to grasp the fact that this was all her fault. But neither did she think she was capable of a real relationship, so the only thing she could do was move past it. This hangout-- despite this sweet hug that she enjoyed all too much-- was just another example of how they could make it. They could move past this and become friends in the end. 


Still she lingered too long in the hug. There might have been a part of her that hoped he would pull her closer, too, as despite knowing this was a horrible, horrible idea, she still wanted that. In fact, her hand was starting to make its way to the back of his head when his phone went off, and she flinched and jumped back as if she'd been caught in the middle of something. Swallowing, she nodded as he stood, and once she was by herself she just sat there for a while. Hanging her head in her hands, she thought over how stupid this was and how impossible it would be to be friends with Brady. But neither did she want to stop.


For a while she tried to clear her mind. If she forced herself not to think about it while he was around, perhaps she could grow accustomed to this. There was no other option anymore, after all; she would remain his friend, no matter how hard it was not to kiss him sometimes. She wondered if that urge would ever go away-- if they'd be friends a year from now and she'd still want to press her lips to his. It was hard to imagine a day when she didn't pine for him.


He interrupted that reverie by coming back a lot faster than she expected-- or, perhaps, she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed the length of time at all-- and she whipped her head up at him and nodded. "Yeah, yeah-- that's fine," she answered him, taking the drink and cracking it open. If there was anything that was distracting, it was food, as she was a foodie through and through. Taking a long gulp of the drink, she set it aside and started to work on the pizza.


"That was fun," she said as she glance back at the screen. And even if she'd been lost in thought before, she couldn't help but smile a little. "I still want to see what that tank is, though. The witch was absolutely terrifying. Why didn't you warn me? I knew that crying was bad and-- god, I'm sorry I'm so bad." Where all these words were coming from, she didn't know, but she supposed it had to do with the awkward way she was starting to feel. Like she needed to fill the silence with something. Regardless, she was still smiling-- almost grinning-- as she looked back up at him.

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#15 Guest_Brady Moretti_*

Guest_Brady Moretti_*

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Posted 09 October 2013 - 05:31 AM

This honestly was, absolutely fucking unfair. In a perfect world Ruth would already be his. Silly to think about it, sure, as he wasn't the sort of person to push his feelings on another but well--she liked him didn't she? She'd already told him that much at the campsite. Whatever it was that was getting between them, holding her back from being in relationships, from getting attached to people, if he could take that away from her he would have in an instant. Brady realized that it was a selfish thought, yes, but he couldn't help himself when it came to her.


It was difficult remembering when exactly he'd realized that he had feelings for her to tell the truth as everything seemed to blur together. Being friends with Max had led him to meeting Ruth awhile ago, yes, so while he knew her somewhat before the whole Max and Bridget thing happened it wasn't until just recently that they'd started to become close in the first place. Of course he'd always thought she was pretty. He wasn't blind after all. But she was always sort of unreachable and untouchable and intimidating as all hell especially when she was with Pippa.


But then she was nice to him and little by little it was like he wanted to hang out with her all of the fucking time. Maybe it was the fact that he'd been vulnerable and lonely and a little bitter and jealous--yeah he was finally admitting it--that his best friend had a girl and he didn't but all of that made it ten times easier to end up liking her until it was too fucking late and the only thing he could think about was the way his heart beat quickly and his hands sweat when he was around her. Brady hardly expected her to kiss him of course and that had really sort of murdered him in a sense. He was a fucking goner by that point. Knowing what it was like to kiss her was absolutely unfair and now-- now he had to stop thinking about that completely and accept the fact that they were just going to be friends and nothing else.


Moments like this made things both easier and harder on him. Running into her during laser tag had been nothing short of awkward but they were having fun here. They were hanging out and doing friendly type things and he was both grateful and a little upset about the whole thing. Sitting crossed legged back in his bed and taking a large bite of the pizza, Brady tried to relax and not stress so fucking much and stop thinking about how cute she was when she ranted about the game.


"S'cool, you'll get better I promise." He told her after chewing thoroughly though he was hungry enough and wanted the distraction so badly that he took another huge bite without thinking about the fact that he was being kind of fucking messy. "We can start over and you'll probably see the tank, you usually get a couple per chapter anyway I can't ever decide if he's scarier than the witch though." He wrinkled his nose and shrugged before taking a large gulp of his soda.


"Uh--" Shit. She made him so fucking nervous it was ridiculous. "Thanks for coming to hang out with me. I mean--s'been awhile you know? I'm glad we can still talk and stuff. I mean-- be friends y'know? I don't uh-- I don't not want to be friends with you, so I'm really glad you came."

#16 Ruth Antares

Ruth Antares

Posted 09 October 2013 - 06:20 AM

Sitting here talking to him, playing video games with him, eating pizza and drinking mountain dew with him-- it was ridiculously sweet and fun, to be such a casual thing to do. It was every bit as fun as going out with someone else would be, and in that moment she realized just how compatible they were. How easy this was. How easy it would be to scoot a little closer and cuddle with him and kiss him after they were done eating and settle into this as a routine. How easy it would be to let him get close to her and let this just happen. To some extent it already was and she was aware of it; just because they weren't kissing or cuddling or talking about it openly didn't mean something wasn't happening.


At least for her, anyway. She was still very much aware that he could very well not feel the same way anymore. That is until he spoke up and she found herself half-smiling, half-frowning, if possible. Her brow furrowed in the center and she cocked her head, nodding a little sadly; it was clear from the look on her face that she didn't like it at all. That she wanted something more than this, too, but there was no way she could feel comfortable jumping ship and into this.


"I'm glad, too," she said slowly, focusing on her pizza for a moment. "I'm-- uh-- I'm sorry for--" She was just about ready to break down into another huge apology for being such a wishy-washy bitch to him at the campsite, but she shook her head, aware that that wasn't the place to go at the moment. They were starting to fall into some sort of friendly routine, as much as she hated that word. Friends. Why couldn't she just be with him? "I'm glad," she reiterated, looking up at him.


And then he had that stupid pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth and she smiled affectionately, finding it strangely endearing. Almost involuntarily she reached out to wipe it away with her thumb before realizing-- right, she wasn't supposed to do this sort of thing. Quickly she retracted her hand, finding a napkin instead and handing it to him. "You've got, uh--" She motioned to the corner of her mouth and looked back down at her drink, draining the last of it.


Suddenly she just wasn't as hungry as before; there was a part of her that was tempted to run the fuck out of here while she still had the chance, but that was no way to keep this friendship moving forward. Instead she remained right where she was, setting her plate aside, wiping her hands with another napkin, and picking the controller back up. The game had been a nice, fun distraction; hopefully they could get back into that.


"I'm ready when you are," she said idly, toying with the controls. "I think I can figure it out this time. I'm ready to face a tank." She attempted a small smile as she looked back up at him.

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